We can talk about all of it here.
I make the uncomfortable, comfortable.
You’re done walking on eggshells. This is not how a relationship should feel. You both say you want more, but then back away. Talking fades to another awkward silence, which makes it that much harder to try again. Or worse, wrong things get said.
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There’s a lot of pain, and precious little trust. Intimacy feels impossible.
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It’s all too easy to bury ourselves in work, friends - anything to avoid this tension and growing bitterness.
It used to be so wonderful!
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And it can be again. I’ve worked with so many couples in this same state where hope and spark seems lost - but it’s there. We can navigate that fragile space that feels so vulnerable and rekindle the magic. That significant other can be your new old best friend and lover.
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What is Sex Therapy?
Things That Are Hard To Talk About
I was once told, “You make the uncomfortable, comfortable”. There are topics that we simply do not talk about - whether through politeness or upbringing or whatever the reason: Money, Sex and Death.
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Not talking about these doesn’t make issues surrounding them go away.
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Sex therapy addresses that central one. Those three little letters snuggled in the middle there can be a real cause for issues - but they don’t have to be. Joy is a three letter word, why can’t sex be like that?
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It can!
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Sex therapy provides the opportunity to discuss this natural interaction between partners with openness and honesty. Past trauma is very often a part of issues here and too many times those unfortunate histories affect our ability to enjoy our adult lives. There are ways to fix this!
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I provide a safe, sacred place to experience validation and gain confidence - with each other and with yourselves. You’ll gain skills to talk effectively about intimacy and yes, there are often homework assignments tailored to foster the sexual connection between you.
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Sex. Joy. They’re not that far apart.
What IS Couples Therapy? Who is the client?
​Couples therapy is about strengthening relationships and, in fact, the relationship itself is the client. Couples can focus on issues around trust, communication, and conflict. Often, there are specific triggers highlighting the need for therapy. The four “big ones are”: Sex, Money, Kids, Family. (Oftentimes remodeling comes into play as well, but I digress…)
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Regardless, a strong relationship is, without exception, a crucial need in all of these situations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) work? A: EFT helps couples understand and express their emotions to each other in a healthy way. Couples learn to recognize and change negative patterns in their relationships, and fosters positive interactions and improved emotional connection.
Q: What is sex therapy? A: Sex therapy improves intimacy in couples. Assistances is provided with sexual issues including difference in desire for the frequency of sex. Sex therapy is tailored to the individuals and couples with education, reduction of anxiety, enhanced communication for a greater intimacy.
Q: Is sex therapy only for couples or does it benefit individuals? A: Sex therapy is not just for couples! Individuals with partners can benefit as can clients without significant others. In both cases, individuals have had great success addressing sex and intimacy challenges in an environment that’s safe and welcoming. Unpartnered individuals may be struggling with the very process of dating itself. Religious and cultural issues often come into play here as can sexual boundaries, lifestyles and sexual identity.. Or it could be as simple as an individual who isn’t partnered but trying to date who is frustrated and about to give up. Other concerns can include addressing trauma surrounding prior events, stigmatization, physical health or body image issues, pain (acute and/or chronic), erectile issues, and inability to climax.
Q: Is couples counseling covered by insurance? A: Alas, most insurance plans do not cover couples therapy. Sometimes insurance covers one person, but the couples therapy work must focus on the treatment of that one person - which is individual therapy with a collateral person in the room. True couples therapy focuses on the relationship as the client, not one or the other individual and insurance hasn’t quite caught on to this concept.